social media

My life coaching journey. Finding a niche they say is the key...

I am a life coach. I love to help people. I love to help everyone and anyone and I truly believe that any block we have in our life is manifested, developed and delivered through our own feelings, emotions and thoughts. The outcome of any problem we face is determined by how we choose to manage it. How we manage that problem comes from our inner voice and the language we use to speak to ourselves, the basis for NLP. However, I believe there is one thing in most of our lives that we are all unconsciously being influenced by.

I am talking about technology and how we allow it to show up in our lives.

I feel there is a level of unconscious behaviour that is creeping in - almost beyond our control. If we don't wake up to this fact sooner rather than later,  technology will start to use us rather than us using it. In fact it's a common belief that the internet is being developed to become one huge marketing tool. Getting to know us on an intimate level so it can throw appropriate advertising our way and sell us what we think we need. It's being developed to suck us in, to shine brighter and more attractive to us everyday. We spend millions of wasted hours online - buying, gambling, gaming, watching, because it makes us feel good. In this case the internet is being extremely effective. It's too convenient. Whatever you want to watch, whatever pushes your buttons, is right there, at your fingertips. On an individual basis too if we allow it, so we are all scattered around our homes, in different rooms. Apart. 

Many of us have a definite screen addiction but when confronted are in complete denial. In fact, it goes beyond that. We are even developing new fears related to technology. Fears that we will be inundated with messages, emails etc that we won't be able to keep on top of if not checked everyday. Emails lead us onto screens and before we know it we're sucked into a social media void. 

FOMO - which most of us have heard of. Let's think about the "Fear of Missing Out" for a second here. It's a double edged sword. We are so used to knowing what all our friends are doing now, almost on a daily basis that we want to check in, NEED to check in and like posts to feel like we're being a good friend. When we check in from a place like wintery, cold, wet London and see friends in the Southern Hemisphere on holiday - lapping up the sunshine and apparently enjoying life more than we are, a lot of us start to question our life choices. We lose sight of the fact that as a rule people only post the positive aspects of their life.  We see friends meeting up, doing fun things together - the mind starts to chatter - why wasn't I invited? In this moment of self talk we forget that this is how it's always been, the big difference is that we never knew about it. It really comes down to how we manage all this in our own heads.

I've done a recent blog on screen wars with our kids so I won't go over that again. But this is also a huge problem many parents face. Interesting fact - that many of the parents who are behind the development of this technology don't let their kids have screens. In fact they go as far to send them to low tech or no tech schools. If you ask me there's a massive stench of fish floating around that rumour. (Will post a future blog on this). 

So.... I feel like my energies need to move towards helping people change their relationship with tech and help individuals and families find a way to use it to enrich their lives and bring them closer together. At the end of the day the power of any tool we use boils down to how we use them and how we allow them to show up in our lives.  We need to remain in control. Technology for the most part has creeped into our lives with no hand book or rule book. We are all left to stumble through the dark and find our own way.

There are many great things about technology but there are also many pitfalls. After all, our life experience is what we pay attention too.  If most of our life's attentions moves away from the people who are really present in our lives then what? It's almost like the biggest regret of the dying may change from - "I wish I didn't work so much and spent more time with my loved ones" to "I wish I spent less time off screen and more time in the real world with the people who really loved me." After all how can we even compare the people who are walking through this life with us to those who we never even meet?  It's fascicle. We need to adopt technology to buy us more time in the present moment rather than robbing us of life itself.  We can use it to create stronger bonds with the people who truly count in our lives.  It won't be an easy battle but it's a battle worth fighting.

So - this is going to be my focus, my niche if you like. My background lies in IT. A few moons ago now I'll admit but it's always been a healthy presence in my life. Tech is moving at such a rapid rate, it's impossible to keep up. A healthy relationship with tech starts with the what, when and how. What we want from it, when we use it and how we use it. It also starts with knowing when we need to turn it off and what we choose to pay attention too. This all needs to be consciously defined. We need to create rules and boundaries and we need to create a healthy inner voice around social media. We could start by banning the 'LIKE' button....but that's a WHOLE other blog. Stay tuned. 

An article that may be of interest: